WHEN WE ARE EXCITED ABOUT AN ACHIEVEMENT OR LIFE IS GOING REALLY WELL FOR US, WE EXPECT THAT OUR FRIENDS WILL BE JUST AS HAPPY AS WE ARE. BUT IN THE CASE OF FRENEMIES, IT CAN BE JUST THE OPPOSITE. HEALTH REVEALS THE COMPLEXITIES OF THIS RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC.
THE JEALOUS FRIEND
Frenemy was first mentioned on an American television drama program and addresses those situations where someone smiles on our face, but eventually proves to have ulterior motives. According to Dave Crane, a life coach and life designer, a friend can become jealous because they experience something that they want in the other person and cannot get easily for themselves. “This could be an attractive partner, a physical object like a car or clothing, or even an experience like a holiday or a job,” he tells.
DANGERS OF JEALOUSY
Jealousy, reiterates Crane, can sit cooking in a relationship for years, creating resentment between family members, work colleagues, and buddies. “It’s normal to be able to position ourselves by comparison with those around us as it helps us have something to judge ourselves by,” he says, yet if left unchecked, those emotions can become very strong and resentment will be the most powerful side effect.
COPING WITH A JEALOUS FRIEND: Understand your friend’s feelings. Think about whether your friend would be more secure if she had what she envies, or if you suspect she’d still find something to be jealous about. Help your friend to be more secure. Compliment her for what she has going for her. Stand up to rude behavior. Just because your friend feels bad about her lack of education doesn’t mean she can call you a nerd for wanting to study. Demand an apology and if you don’t get one, it might be time to part ways. Expect all of your friends to support you through good times and bad times. Your friend might be jealous that you finally got that promotion and she did not, but if she doesn’t genuinely congratulate you, she’s not a good friend.