By Mariya Rizwan
While dealing with bipolar people, one might forget that they are super-sensitive human beings. Even a smirk on your face can mark a negative impact on them.
10 things you should never say to a bipolar person are:
Everyone Has Something, Or Everyone Has Mood Swings
Telling a bipolar person that everyone has something stressful to deal with devalues their pain. No two people experience the same pain. Everyone has their fair share of it. Therefore, we must stop comparing illnesses and people, as it can hurt them.
Never tell a bipolar person about other people’s mood swings. You might not know what they themselves are going through. Sometimes depression and maniac episodes can be paralyzing for their life.
When you tell a bipolar that someone has mood swings, you not only invalidate their condition but make them feel bad.
Having mood swings is normal. Many people have it. But having a diagnosed bipolar means something else. It is a total other ball game.
You must realize they are trying their best to get out of it. No one wants to be in bed all day, surrounded by gloominess. Sometimes, it is not in their hands. In those testing times, be a steady rock of support for your loved ones. Tell them you are with them through thick and thin.
You Are Using Bipolar as an Excuse to Act Bad
Alright, when someone is manic and agitated, it might be hard to deal with them, but that does not mean they use their condition to behave that way. That is not an excuse. They are learning to deal with it.
Sometimes it is not in their control how they behave. Therefore, be mindful of what you say to them, as it can leave scars on their souls that one can never remove.
You Do Not Need Any Medications
When someone says that you do not need to take medications for your condition means they do not realize your symptoms, conditions, and pain one is going through.
Telling a bipolar person not to take medications means they do not have any health condition. And that can be upsetting for them. If you can not help them, it is better to be quiet.
Why Do Not You Snap Over It?
Telling a bipolar person to get over it when they are depressed or lying in bed with no energy to move is equal to invalidating their condition. It is like telling someone who just lost a family to get over it. Or a person with paralysis to move? It makes them feel they are here by choice and not trying to leave. Therefore, it is not fair or realistic to say such harsh words.
Are You Taking Your Medications?
Medications can help lower the symptoms of bipolar. But they can not help cure the condition. A person with a mental illness will feel low and agitated on some days. In those times, medication may not work or need more time to show its effects. When you remind them if they are taking meds, it tells them your medications are not working well.
However, if you ask that out of care, approach them in a tone full of love and empathy. Make sure you sound kind. That matters a lot.
Oh, You Do Not Look Like You Have Bipolar
Until and unless the bipolar person is going through a terrible psychosis, one can not get to know about their health condition from their face. Often they dislike telling everyone until they are close friends with whom they share everything.
Many times you might meet them and see them quite happy or euphoric during a manic episode and might not realize that. They may seem like other people, but you do not know their inner struggles.
As they say, never judge a book by its cover. You should not judge a person by how you perceive them. Imagine if someone has a brain tumor and you tell them they look normal. How would they feel? Not good. Therefore, be considerate before you speak.
It Would Be Premenstrual Symptoms
Telling a woman fighting bipolar symptoms that she might have it because of hormone fluctuation can be rude and absurd. Never pass statements like these to any woman because you do not know what she might have felt at that moment.
Premenstrual syndrome is real and should be taken seriously. But please do not mix bipolar symptoms with it. They are two different things. Being depressed because of bipolar is a clinical depression episode that needs help, and PMS symptoms are something else.
Happiness Is A Choice
Who does not like to be happy and peppy? Telling a person who is going through severe depression that happiness is a choice can be sheer nonsense to them and hurtful, too.
No one likes to be depressed or feel insecure or pessimistic about themselves. Science has proved that in bipolar, the neurotransmitter levels are abnormal, which causes episodes of mania and depression. So how can you overlook the scientific fact and ask a depressed person to get out of bed and get ready to go for an outing?
Okay, we all should think positively to get out of dark times. But sometimes, there is a dump of chemicals that does not let a bipolar person feel happy. Or there is a maniac episode that is out of their control. Those episodes are real. You need to tackle them with understanding and love.
How Could You Be Depressed When You Have All These Things?
Many people think that depression occurs because of the lack of resources, poverty, or when you do not get what you want. However, that is not true. If that were the case, why do famous stars have depression when they have everything one needs to have a luxurious life?
One can be thankful for what they have in their life and satisfied with it and still be depressed because depression is a clinical condition, just like diabetes, asthma, and various others. Many people take it for granted and do not realize how it can affect the lives of people going through it.
Bipolars can be successful because they can perform well in the manic phase and be high achievers. But success does not define happiness. If that were the case, a toilet seat made up of gold could make a person happy.
We need to understand that happiness comes from inside of us. Not that it comes from external sources around us. Still, we need to talk about mental health to remove the stigma and misconceptions.
The Bottom Line
Bipolars are sensitive people. Tackle them with love, compassion, and utmost kindness. When you do that, you will have an intellectual conversation. Just tell them you are there. That can make a lot of difference.
When you say something, think twice before because it can have a lifelong impact on people’s minds. Therefore, be cautious about what and how you speak.